I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
