He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
