I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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