It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
