party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize