Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
