$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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