Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
