The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
