I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
