I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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