I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
please come you make the beer taste better
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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