The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
