I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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