You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
