i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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