Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're a waste of cheezeits
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
