dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
