i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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