where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
