i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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