is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
