If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
