Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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