Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
