PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
