I think I am morally bankrupt
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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