You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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