So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
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And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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