so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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