You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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