I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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