He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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