Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
