Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
