No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
