i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
