I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
