Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My cat gives me a boner
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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