thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
