My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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