I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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