just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
