Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
