I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
