You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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