pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
