your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
