so that wasnt chicken after all
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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