STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
