But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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