My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
