Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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